My Toddler and Trump – The Scary Similarities


THE more I think about it, the more President Donald Trump reminds me of someone. No, not Hitler or any other bigoted, misogynistic leader, but my very own toddler.

At first the thought was scary, in an “Oh-my-God-am-I-raising-a-freaking-monster!” sort of way. But then I realised it’s not just my toddler, it’s probably most toddlers out there. However, we must give them a chance. They all just need to grow up… President Trump included.

Here are a few things I’ve realised my toddler has in common with Trump:

He likes to paint himself orange. And blue, red and green. Pretty much any colour paint or felt tip pen he can get his hands on. It’s such a mission to wash him off at the end of an art session. But, hey, it’s apparently fashionable now.

He likes to grab private parts. Thank God it’s just his own and not others’! But the amount of times I have to say to him “Stop touching your pee-pee” is just annoying. I guess I should breathe a sigh of relief that he’s not boasting to his brother about grabbing a girl’s privates! Actually, come to think of it, even if he did, it’s not like it would affect him in any way. I mean, he could still go on to become President of the United States.

He has an obsession with building walls. It’s my toddler’s favourite game. He builds them out of cushions or building blocks. But, thankfully, he doesn’t build them to create division, but more like a team-building exercise with his brother, to jump on or knock down. It creates a great brotherly bond between them. Hey Mr President, I think my toddler can teach you a few things.

He hates girls. Not in a nasty way at all. Just an immature boyish sort of way. For example, he’d rather play with boys then girls. A bit like Trump selecting his cabinet.

These are just a few things I’ve noticed. I am sure, and fearful, the more we get to know Trump, the more the similarities will emerge.

But let’s not all panic, it means I’ve found a solution. Trump just needs a bit of mothering and discipline. Please can someone put this toddler- I mean President- in time out?


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